Towards the end of last quarter I had sharp shooting pain in my chest and my heart rate went up real fast to the point that I thought I was having a heart attack. After going to the ER they said I had costochondritis. Two weeks of agonizing pain, some tylenol with codeine, and much love from the roommates, it finally went away.
And then this last Friday, it came back. BLahhekadubihrlykruds. Last night was the worst. The hardest thing is that the pain increases significantly when I lie down so it's really hard to sleep. I come home from work and try to make up for the lack of sleep by napping in a chair sitting up. It works...kind of.
I hate to be such a complainer but pretty much every minute I just really want to scream so I guess this is one way to vent.
"Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day." - 2 Corinthians 4:16. This is really true. Jesus - I want to fix my eyes on the wonderful things you have done for me recently and not on this pain. Help me remember how you spoke to me while I ran last week about your closeness to me. Help me remember the images you gave me in prayer at Catalyst about choosing me as your friend. Help me remember the wonderful moments with the other interns and staff this weekend and how we laughed for hours on end. Help me remember the joy you've given me as I step into this new season of ministry and calling.
I want relief Father. But more than that, I want to follow and obey Jesus in the midst of this. I want to learn the lessons he has for me and have my character be built. In moments of intense pain, my ugly side comes out more and more. So help me Father to remain faithful and loving and close to you in the midst of this.
Amen.
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