Numbers 21: "So Moses made a snake out of bronze and attached it to a pole. Then anyone who was bitten by a snake could look at the bronze snake and be healed!"
John 3:14: "And as Moses lifted up the bronze snake on a pole in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, so that everyone who believes in him will have eternal life."
Implication: Just look at Jesus and you'll be healed.
I don't know how many times, in the midst of intense pain in the last couple of weeks, I've heard a small voice say: Worship me. Think of me. Put your eyes on me. And really, more than any drug, or mind-numbing episode of the "Office," more than any prayer or word of comfort from friends, putting my eyes on Jesus has been the most healing of all. Those moments in church, singing, You have overcome the grave, your glory fills the highest place - studying about Jesus tonight and seeing how much He yearns for people to know Him - singing I believe that you're my healer at Catalyst, closing my eyes and seeing Him stroking my back like a gentle mother and whispering It's ok baby, I've got you...just a little longer - It was in these times that I felt the most relief - the most joy - the most peace - the most healing.
Just to look at Jesus brings healing. I really believe it.
And there have been moments in the last couple of weeks where I have felt my heart burning with desire for my friends to see Jesus too - for them to be able to fall in love with Him and to experience the healing that I have. Sometimes that desire for my friends is so overwhelming that I almost cannot take it anymore. How do I show them who Jesus really is? How do I point them away from myself and to Jesus? Sometimes I literally just want to sit them all down and shake them and say "Look at Jesus! Oh, if you only knew!!! He is so wonderful. Just to look at Him will bring you healing."
Mike said that advent is a time of waiting. And that's exactly what I feel right now. Waiting. I have seen Jesus...but not fully. I have seen Him work in small conversations and prayers at work. I've seen Him bring me moments of relief and tastes of healing. But not fully. And at times, I'm given a vision of what it will be like to see Jesus in His full glory and it is the most wonderful thing in the world. But then I'm quickly brought back into the reality that the kingdom has not fully come yet. And I must wait. And pray. And yearn. And hope. It is a good place to be, I suppose. Terribly frustrating and purposeful, all at the same time.
I want to see Jesus. I want others to see Him. Emmanuel, Adonai, Father, Shalom, Prince of Peace, Hope of all the Earth - let us know you. Let us see you. So we might be totally and completely healed.
Amen.
90% of my thoughts from the last 5 days:
Jesus, I'm so tired of being in pain. Please bring me relief...It hurts. A lot. Amen.
